kissmehardy:

tetradugenica:

dumbassfils:

zzzacaria:

my upper chest itches…..

UGH

you see it… red.. ugh

ok chatwhateverloette here i come hehehehehe

nice sexy ass rash you dirtbody ass smeller gay fucker bad girl tell me where you live so i can kidnap you and make you eat dirt

Nothing personal against this person [(al)], I’m sure she’s a saint and very smart and usually wears vintage dior ball gowns, but forgive me while I speak on something.

There are 100000000 of these girls on the internet.

Let me walk through a typical day

Opening:

Afternoon

Girl: wow you can get jersey leggings AND cardigans now!? NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE FIBERS!!!

Girl: Everything I own is 5% spandex cause its gotta stretch! I have no idea what fit means and what nice clothing is like, because I’ve confused nice advertisments and pretty models wearing them with well tousled hair and interesting makeup for quality of manufacture.

*straightens thick, overconditioned hair and wears 5% spandex everything*

I’m gonna put on this long skin-thight shirt. So long its like a skirt! I’ve got leggings underneath.. but wait! Ahhah look down, those are metallic ballet flats you’re scopin.. I won’t take them off if you’re hopin’ !!! Baby baby I ‘m so hot just now! Artificial fibres may be flammable but I am not an animall! Fur is gross, faux for me, it’s okay that it comes from chinese dogs treated horribly!

Let’s go to topshop and buy some knockoffs of designer clothes made in China with 3d scanning machines that make 2 dimensional clothes out of photos three dimensional clothes!!

Yay fun day everyone!

This story was written By Myf and Cory ASCE